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Funny New Year Quotes 2024 – Happy New Year’s Eve Funny Quotes 2024
“We all get the exact same 365 days. The only difference is what we do with them.”
“I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year.”
New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
If I had done you wrong, I am sorry.
May you still give me a chance this
New Year to do it over and over again.
Happy New Year Funny Quotes 2024!
Brooks Atkinson
“Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.”
G. K. Chesterton
“The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards. Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.”
Funny New Year Quotes 2024!
Anonymous
“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.”
Robert Paul
“I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.”
“This Year may god motivate you to indulge less in office gossips. Happy New Year!”
I would say happy New Year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder. – Robert Clark
New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that. – Judith Crist
“What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square… It’s a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It’s just a few Jews walking around going, ‘sup?.” » Jon Stewart
“I would say happy New Year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.”
» Robert Clark
“May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!” » Aleister Crowley
New Year’s Eve is finally here, where we can be drunk in public and no one minds. That’s why this is the best holiday.
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
– Bill Vaughan
May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.
I hope you saved some champagne because I’m going to need some drinks all year. Happy New Year friend.
Best wishes and good luck this New Year because I intend on completely ignoring your existence for roughly the next 364 days.
“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”
» Oscar Wilde
“Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.”
» Judith Christ
Jay Leno
“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.”
“It goes Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and Valentine’s Day. Is that fair to anyone who’s alone? If you didn’t get around to killing yourself on Christmas or New Year’s, boom, there’s Valentine’s Day for you. There should be a holiday after Valentine’s Day called ‘Are you still here?.” – Laura Kightlinger
Happy New Years Eve Funny Quotes 2024
“I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.” » Anaïs Nin
Funny New Year Quotes 2024
“I wish I didn’t watch (Dick Clark) because New Year’s Eve is that one little time when you get to suspend the disbelief that next year is going to be crap. You forget about it! You look at the person next to you and kiss them and say “Happy New year!” and you have a moment of happiness. I don’t want to be reminded at that exact moment of my own mortality.” » John Bowman
Happy New Years Eve Funny Quotes 2024
“This year my New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘Seacrest out!’ after I ejaculate.”
– Zach Galifianakis
Funny New Year Quotes 2024
“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” – Joey
“This Year may the Hollywood actor you drool over does not get hooked by some starlet.”
“A year of sorrow, disappears into thin air, if you shower it with a bottle of champagne! save a glass or two for me”
“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average, which means you have already met your New Year’s resolution.” – Jay Leno
“This Year may your hair and teeth, your face-lift, abs and stocks not fall, may your blood pressure, your cholesterol, white blood count and mortgage interest not rise. Happy New Year!”